While I happen to adore my daughter- think she is the best, cutest, smartest baby ever, (Got that? Ever.) and I love her more than I ever thought possible, I have some confessions to make about my "darker" feelings towards motherhood.
They are as follows:
1. I do not want to spend every waking moment, of every single day with you, baby girl. Sometimes I want to do my thing and not have to worry you might wake up any second needing me.
2. When you wake up all smiley, and I am barely aware of what day it is, sometimes I want to roll over, fake sleep and pray you get the hint. I don't of course. And your smile does make it easier to get up.
3.Sometimes when you scream, I want to go to another room and stuff my head under pillows. I don't do this either of course.
4. I have moments when I wonder what my first year of marriage would have looked like without you. Please understand, there is not a second I wish for anything but my life, with you, exactly the way it is. But you, baby girl, have changed things for these newlywed, new parents.
Anyone else? Any confessions?
I love being Sophie's mom, my heart wants to explode with all the love I have for her, but motherhood is anything but easy.
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