Adventures in nursing...

When I was pregnant, I didn't know a ton about nursing (breastfeeding). I had seen a few moms nurse and knew I wanted to but that was about it. So I read a ton. I watched videos on the internet. I researched and researched. Surprised?

By the time S. came along, while I had learned a lot, I still hadn't actually nursed a child. My thoughts went like this. "I want to nurse my baby, and I will. Period."I knew it had the potential to be hard, but I was in.  We had a rocky start at the hospital- she was taken to the NICU for her first day (and I was told that the only way to give her the colostrum I was pumping was to bottle-feed, or they would have to go to a feeding tube!). Thankfully, we got the hang of things the next day (and had a wonderful nurse tell us about finger-feeding expressed milk), but it was not easy. I received conflicting advice from "experts." When I was engorged, some told me to pump more to relieve engorgement and others said don't. ( The "don'ts" were right since breastfeeding is  supply/demand...the more you pump/supply the more your body will make). I ended up so engorged I looked like I had rocks under my skin almost up to my neck.

But we learned together, S and I. We made it through my oversupply of milk, her refusing to nurse because she associated it with sleep (and heaven forbid we try to get Miss Busy to sleep!), teething, mastitis and plugged ducts. And here we are 14 months later and still going. And I still love nursing. I don't know how long we will keep this up, and that is ok. Sitting in our chair tonight,  I realized nursing has been good for both of us. I tend to be a "keep moving" kind of person. Slowing down can be hard. Once something is done, I am on to the next. But I can't do that when S wants mama-milk. I sit in our chair and look at her baby face and slowly unwind a bit. My timelines have to adapt to her needs. She is a busy busy busy little thing too, so this is cuddle time for us as well. When we are out, it is really hard for me to stop and sit in the car to nurse instead of heading directly home, but really, where is the rush? There isn't anything that can't wait a few minutes. Nursing slows me down, and that is good for all of us.

This is a hard subject for me because I have dear friends who haven't been able to nurse, despite incredible efforts. While I want to share my adventures in being a mom, and nursing has been a huge part of that, ultimately, nursing isn't what makes a Mom. Love your babies well, enjoy them and do what works for all of you.

Hello again, still there?

Sadly, I realized my last post was from November. And there has been so much happening around here, but I was soooo very busy actually living life, to write about it. And sometimes that is a good thing. 
And sometimes it is time to return to the recording of it as well.

Christmas!

 What have we been up to? Well...since I have been absent from the blogging world,
we celebrated Sophie's first Thanksgiving, first Christmas (she got a push toy that was the beginning of her learning to walk). We celebrated Husband/Daddy coming home (we really celebrated that one!) and then Sophie's first birthday. And in between we celebrated in small ways all the little events that happen every day. Sophie putting random items of clothing on her head and walking around babbling until she gets our attention. Slinging shoes over her shoulder and putting them where she feels like they belong (to Daddy's chagrin when his shoes are found wet on the back porch). Walking the dogs and the adventure that can be. Sitting at a bookstore with my husband talking and eating cheesecake. 
Aside from all the events, I have been trying to work something out for myself these past few months, but more especially now. I love being a Mom, (even with the long hours, lack of sick days or vacation) but I don't want to be only Mom. Make any sense? For the past few days I have been trying to sort out things I love to do that are just me things. What makes me, me, aside from being wife and mom?

I "borrowed" husband's camera the other night and started just playing around. And then editing and playing with the results. It felt so good. I love photography but feel so far removed from it that even just taking a few somewhat decent photos (yes they were of Sophie, but she's an awesome subject) was refreshing. 

This is a true "Sophie" face,
but one she may have learned from me...

We looked at road bikes the other day, and I test rode one at a shop in town. Riding around the parking lot, remembering rides I used to do with friends, was again, refreshing. Now I am looking forward to possibly doing group rides again, maybe meeting people outside of mom/kid activities.
I am trying to find those things that were interests before Sophie came around, and maybe even find some new things just for me.
Sophie got hold of a cloth the other day and started using it to wipe the floor in random spots. It was cute watching her imitate something she has seen me do a thousand times, but what has stayed with me is that I don't want her to grow up seeing Mommy only doing laundry and wiping floors and cooking. None of these are bad things (and I mostly enjoy them), but there are so many other things I want my daughter to witness her mom doing. And so many other facets to me, that I need to find again.
More soon on what has been going on here , aside from my rambling thoughts!